Emo

This would be quite a emotional post. These few weeks i had been staying at home doing my own reflections, calming myself down. And practically i did not quarrel or talk back to my parents these few weeks. Because i choose to be happy. But although i did make that choice but i am not at least a bit happy. These set backs made me feel inferior. Now i detest going going out for entertainment. I detest the way i used to be. I have totally changed into a different person, a person who don't like to talk, don't have a keen of fun. Because of my past habits, splurging on those stupid stuffs, smsing too much, hogging on the laptop which don't know wasted how many tons of electricity. cause the bill to shoot up, my father had a debt to clear. So now i rarely use the laptop or computer. I did not talk on the phone at night, i never call or sms people like the speed of machine gun. I tried to treasure the times i have with my grandparents now. They are moving out soon, on the 22nd. Then i would be really left alone in this world. When ever my siblings went to school, my father went to work, my mother went to the market, there would be my grandparents at home accompanying me. But now when they are gone, i will be left alone in this house. I will miss the old days when my ah ma will give me kiam kiam, miss the days when my ah gong bring me out. How i wish to tell them not to move out. But i am only being selfish. At their age they should be relaxing and enjoying their life, but that were replaced by the fights between them and my parents. Sleeping on the floor is definitely not for them. They did not have a even proper table to eat their meals. Speaking of meals, they are always eating canned food, eating take away, because they can't even use the stove. I have to let them leave, unbearingly. They are the best grandparents to me. With these set backs, i truely know what the terms of good friends are. They always be your side, cheering you on, helping to make a turn in your life. If there is a award for friends, i guess karen, verdell, juan hui and daryl should get it. With them, i can be myself with no worries. Cause they are pure. Which i don't mind making a fool out of myself in front of them. They won't make my actions a red dot. They won't aggravate.