departing tmr

Din slp whole night, dunno why.. So here i am blogging b4 i go cck meet lynn for my skinny.. Not gray anymore, but the colour is fine with me.

Departing tmr alrdy, ah yi coming to fetch me and bro at 5 plus am.. no need slp liao again.. lolx. maybe slp on the coach.. Total 11 ppl gg.. lolx.. And po po got go.. hahax.. lolx.. Gonna be a fun trip.. I want to take a whole lot of pictures.. Woohoo~.. lolx..

Next tym I want go overseas with dar, and my peeps too.. It gonna be one exciting trip.. lolx..

My cousin start blogging too, think got influenced by my brother.. hahax.. lolx..

Later when i got bck home, need to slp a while, then wake up continue pack luggage.. then see dar wake up le ma, then go have dinner with him... lolx.. I this few days not guai, keep hurting dao dar.. but i will be guai de, i wont hurt him le..

Going to be a whole new year soon.. How am i gg to count down? I'm counting down with a bunch of secondary kids.. -_-.. yep, my bro and his friends.. Still come ask me whr count down nicer.. lolx. see first, either go out with them, or i jio ppl out countdown.. lolx.. anybody want count down? lolx..

got to end here lohx.. have to leave hse.. lolx.. ciao

to hell with the person call anonymous

4.02am.. Today is xmas.. Merry Christmas To All.. Esp to my loved ones and my friends..
My brother ask me go k box with his classmates later on.. But dun feel like gg.. Maybe if I have the mood I will go find them after they finish singing..

Ytd I spend my xmas eve with my mother.. Boring, ask me go down play sparkles, but in the end i stand there watching my mother playing with sparkles.. Then I went for a jog at ard 10 plus. Jog for almost an hour then go home. My mother cooked for me sphagetti..

First time spending my xmas alone.. Though its cool, a total new experience..But i will nt let my xmas be a total waste. I just pack my room a lil bit, its better than nothing. Pack my luggage, now have only to wait for some stuff, cos i need to get my hands on them first..

My xmas wish is very simple: to pass my sem exam
: my parents to stop obssessing with 4D
: stay long with dar dar
: go out with my friends
and lastly the person who tag my board call anonymous, to hell with you.. next tym state ur name, at least respect your parents who give u the initials.. And im not ke lian..

fuck my parents

Christmas eve is here.. My sister ask me go out to watch movie.. but had to reject her cos is go town.. My bro ask me to go his friend hse for xmas dinner.. Dunno want to go a nt.. Dont even know who randolph, only know that he like to dee siao ppl, still rmb at my bro tagboard.. Just know that i am stuck at home, listening to all the scolding and the vulgarities from my father.my mother and father keep scolding me fo no reason.. still treat me as a kid.. As if i will anyhow loiter ard at malaysia.. Im gg to be 18.. I know wad i shld do and wad i shld nt.. I hate ppl treating me like a kid. I know wad im doing.. and for goodness sake im maturing alrdy.. stop telling me wad to do and wad i shld not do. This is common sense, and do i look like a person who doesnt have one. If i have a choice, i want to change my parents.. I want go out, i scared i cannot take it and just punch or break anything i saw in my way.

These few days having insomia.. Dunno why, maybe too stressful.. Just feel a lot of pressure.. I still thinking within these few days whether i can rush my c n i proj and eng proj.. ytd manage to think of wad clothese to wear to malaysia. and nw its the monsoon season gonna be very cold up the hill. I receive my very first xmas present from my cousins. The windbreaker is quite nice, just that it doesnt have any pocket.. Another xmas present is from my mother.. Gave me money to go shop, but i still did not get the stuff i wanted.. my black cardigan and another vest.

Dar present i haven wrap, and he knew wad i get for him alrdy. not fair.. Shld nt haven taken a photo of it in my hp..
Days to depature: 4 days.. lolx..

i changed..

Gg to go and prepare to leave house already.. Dunno wad to buy for myself. like all the clothes all dont match me. Either is i dont like it or the clothes dont match me, or its out of bound. Nvm, i just find my cousin shirt and another cousin present first. not gg to po po hse.. Left 4 more days to do my project, pack my luggage, pack my room, and go out with dar.. just nice. currently smsing with darren and valerie.. I want my x family cd.. I wanna play crack down.

I just watch a show, that say every cool and expressionless face beneath a girl has its every reason. The reason is she need a secure from the some one she love. I immediately think of me. lolx. b4 i met dar, wheneva im alone i dont like to smile and dont like to talk, still rmb it was chinese new year, i went to po po hse, nobody dare to talk to me. even my da ah yi ask me why i so fierce and pulling a long face. lolx. After i met dar, i change cos i gotten the secure i want.. I just want to be happy.. =)..

ciao, got to go bath and prepare alrdy..

bad dream

ytd evening time finally got to meet dar and his rebonded hair.. not so bad actually.. lolx.. We went eat, and he bully me again, keep shooting ice at me, then i shoot one yellow bean and some ice at him. lolx. He bite me.. now i look like im just got into a fight.. lolx.. Then spend few mins of quiet time with him, then i went home take my bag then went to meet my bro and gideon at compass..

Parted with dar, then me, bro and gideon went to take mrt to city hall. we went marina square. Then went shop shop, saw bro and gideon teacher. lolx. and the teacher son too friendly liao, saw us, immediately go hug us. scary. Then he give us see his drawing, i dunno wad he is drawing, its like many dirty socks as the ceiling lamp. lolx. Heard from that teacher that his son next yr pri one. so young.. lolx.. then after that we continue walk, then my bro bought one shirt. Then we hungry liao, then we go meet gideon parents. While walking, chat and laughed.. lolx.. Then meet dao liao, we went eat. Very yummy sia. so delicious..

While sleeping, woke up many times cos of nightmare, and oso reply dar de msg.. Now officially then wake up.. Its the same dream again.. Now the dream got clearer and clearer, just that now de ending i dunno. but i still rmb that time de.. i hope its nt true cos it concern lives. argh. sian.. nobody home.. very bored.. ciaos.. got to watch movie then pack bag..

finally gg to see dar tmr

Lonely Roads and
empty streets..
Just the rattles of the leaves..
Putting on my coat,
strolling along these pavement,
with each heavy steps..
The breeze blowing against my face,
My cascading hair flew like they were in a rush..
Music blasting across the silence,
My body dancing to the tempo of the beats.
What else can i say,
to just love the mother nature and this day..

lolx. Just feel like composing this.. Just now was going opposite to buy stuff, then was thinking of wad to compose, then i saw the empty pavements. Some more the weather was breezy and ya it just came along to me. Today really slept for very long, too tired i guess. lolx. very long nvr see dar liao, wonder how he look like ma.. I want to hug him ar..Now a days im into grovy songs. Which wil perk me up every morning.. Today dar very tiao pi, keep bully me.. nvm, later i see him, my turn to bully liao.. bleahx.. hehex. lala. feel like doing a lot of things now a days, just that dunno how to start.. lolx..

I miss dar dar

Hrs of waiting,
with just a mind,
waiting to be relief..
Just one news from you,
This stone in my heart wld be set down.
With little of worries,
little of longing,
and a little bit of
hankering for
your presence..
The world is so big,
but yet chances are small..
It would be fate to let us meet,
beyond the depth of the world.
In this space of time,
I wish it would stop.
To make sure u are still,
so that i can find you..
when time resumes,
you must not run,
or i might not be able to catch up with you..
Whenever you go,
I will follow,
just rmb dun hasten the speed of your steps.

Suddenly want to write this to dar.. to let him know his dear at home misses him a lot alot..

i want watch a movie with dar

Today woke up then slack a while jiu go meet esther meii. Congratz to her. She pass her maths too.. Debbie also did well.. =).. Congratz to both of them. Heard from esther that the whole national lvl the top ten students consist one of cvss student also. And there were media present at cvss today for the interview.. lolx.

Then after meeting esther mei, then i go meet sin nee and chan ning.. We ate long john then we started doing the proj.. Then me and chan ning sent sin nee off. Then go take mrt, chan ning alight first. Then i took the train to bugis to simm lim, then forgot that sim lim at this hr is closed, then nvm lor. Went to walk at bugis. Went to ask abt my cardigan, sold out, out of stock. Darn. Suan le.. Then walk, then decide to go my usual place, marina square.. lolx. Saw a stripe tee, quite nice, but dunno whether want to buy a nt... See first lor. then walk till my leg tired, cos was wearing heels. lolx. then i head home..

its like so sian de lor. haix. Tmr gg out with esther meii and another gal.. forget the name.. lolx..

I now waiting for several moveis to be up. lolx. got a lot of nice movie to watch, but im gg to wath online first.. lolx.. I want watch national treasure, the tatooist, mission of dunno wad one.. i want body#19.. a lot ar..

im busy lately. argh

Today is the release of N lvl result, now waiting for mei to tell me her result, then i go meet her.. Then after that go bugis to buy my stuff then go meet my grp mates once they msg me. Kee lin cannot make it.. argh.. Dunno how he's gg to plan his speech..

Tmr is the release of psle posting school results, waiting for the news from my cousin also. He will come back from hai nan dao today. Must faster go buy his pressie liao.

Dar today gg make his hair. lolx. wonder how it look like lehx.. Hehex. imagining.. lolx. First thing if i see him, i wil mess up his hair.. wa haha.. beware lohx. hehex..

My christmas wish: Hope my parents stop buying 4D, and be picky abt money.
I cannot take it, when they keep discussing abt 4D, and keep complaining that they have no money when they have the money to buy 4D. Dots. They are becoming a addictive gambler. Thank goodness, im not into any of gambling thing..

Second Christmas Wish: Hope dar will bring me out and give me surprise!! And whole day planning must be done by him.. lolx. hahax.

Third Christmas Wish: To pass my sem exam

That's all, simple and nice.

Time Left For Depature: 10days
thats like so fast lor. I still haven pack and decide what to bring and wear there. Already tested out many, but hmm.. Dunno lehx, then still have to bring short pants for slping, cant possibly ask me to wear jeans to sleep. My second trip.. Think my ah yi will be shock ba. Cos I have grown up and my sense of fashion has changed, not used to be the cartoony girl anymore. lolx. Hope she dont ask me to accompany my cousin to play the theme park. I hate baby sitting.. But on the second hand, i want to try roller coaster, last time fear struck me, nw i think im ready for it. lolx.

I also want go shopping there, lolx. I want to buy things for my dar dar, for my buddy buddy, for esther mei. hehex.. lolx.

And i want go out with dar dar b4 that day, cos on that day cannot celebrate with him.. =(..

its over, yeah baby

The wind is breezy but yet cold. A little hug i wish to embrace..A little warmth I wish to give.. To give to my dearest him*.. A little poem just for dar.. hehex. lolx. Though very simple. Lolx. Suddenly gt this inspiration to write this. lolx. But is really cold de lor. I wear dar jacket, then now he no jacket to wear on cold days. A bit selfish.. lolx.

Ytd my cousin called my hp from hai nan dao. He said he bought my xmas present, a black jacket. Dots. I haven even go shop for his present, he so fast buy. OMG!!! I want ask dar help me choose. But dunno he willing a not lehx.(hint).. lolx.

Just heard from my mother, that my dunno who de mother got hospitalised. And i also dunno that person is my ah yi, and im her niece. And i also dunno that i got another uncle, which i nvr seen b4. Cos hearing from my mother, he is 20+ yrs old, and he nvr leave the hse, hardcore gamer.Wadeva. I nvr like hardcore gamers anyway. Even my mother nvr see him b4, chinese new year also nvr come visit, wonder wad kinship to him..

My da ah yi and mother bought one shoe for me and sister. So many shoe liao. dots. I want a bag instead. lolx. I need a black cardigan.. Now i keep on matching clothes to bring to genting. And i need to go buy med for motion sickness. I learnt my lesson liao. That tym go genting, the coach keep turnin ard, till when i reach the hotel i was having car sick and i want to throw up. Wad a bad experience. And this tym my brother tagging along, and his first tym gg genting, i think i will help him bring also..

My mother just scare me. She say she want go shopping with me and bring me to square 2. A bit stun. these few days i think she been acting kind of strange, nvr scold me or nag at me. Just keep calling my name and touching me. Hope she dont turn into les and like me. And ytd my mother told me that my father very shuai..I nearly puke. And I told my father tat they go steady for a few months jiu married, wonder what mummy look into you. Then my father say cos his d*** is long.. I was like wth.. Wadeva la.

Let me list the thing i had to do:
Xmas gift for dar dar
Xmas gift for darren
Xmas gift for valerie
Xmas gift for vanessa
Xmas gift for didi
Xmas gift for celest
Xmas gift for vincent
Xmas gift for the new born baby
Xmas gift for my mei
A black cardigan for myself
Im seriously broke this month. Haix..

i feel like im losing him

Had a dream last night. But i dunno the person, but in my dream she was call yan ling. And this yan ling better don come into my dream again. If i saw her in my dream again, i will kill her. And if she really exist better don get near me or my loved ones, i will beat her like hell. I mean it. Owl is still emoing now. Cos a lot of stuff i din get my answer. No words of comfort. And this really explain a lot to me.. Dunno wad to say. Haix. I think i'm turning bck to last tym de me. Solitude, cool, don like to talk much. My world just come crashing down like that. I need somebody to pull me away from that world of mine. My effort of changing to a cheerful, outspoken person is gg to be wasted. But one thing i want to change is that i want to be like last tym when with precious, i will just shout in the mrt like crazy, nobody to stop me, i can shout wadeva i want, be loud person. nobody to refrain me from shouting and do wad i want in the mrt, it just feel so great.. They really bring back a lot of happy memories..


he still dunno wad i meant.. i stayed up is not waiting for him to say sry to me and be guilty. this is nt i want. and other stuff, i wld rather he don send me that msg, i will just think its unfair and be sian diao..haix.
im gg back to my lala land again.. nitex..

jiahwei is emo today..

Today morning went to cck mrt station to meet lynn for my skinnies.. Then went to shopper mall walk walk.. Then msg esther mei want go out a not, but she say she dun wan, then i go her house slack. Reach the bus stop, wait for her and her mei then we go buy take away for ourselves and di.. Then head to mei de house. We ate while we watch the gong zu xiao mei, first time see guy watch ou xiang ju.. lolx. slack and chat till abt 6 like that. I went to take bus back to lakeside then train to bugis walk walk oso. Nothing to buy cos no money. Then wait for bus very long then decided to walk to little india take mrt. While walking a lot of thoughts came to my mind. These few days really has no mood to do anything, no appetite. When I took pic, i just realised i look so shag and thinner. Don bother to ask why i'm like that. Haix..

Ytd met out with buddy buddy juan hui, we chatted and we really got so piss off by those matters. A lot of things. Argh. We both came to conclusion. Great minds think alike. Then after tat went to find her colleage, then pei her colleage go smoke, chatted, then slacked a bit. Chatted with her abt my xin shi and alot. Then she tell me her xin shi.. she's one friend that i can really pour my thoughts to her, cos hmm can say that she know me very well cos 5yrs liao. lolx. and some more she understand me well.. My buddy buddy foreva.. hehex.

Nw rarely hear from him, rarely see him. And i oso dunno wad he doing, all i can do is just imagine. Sometimes i just feel so scared. when i need him, i dun dare to say out to him, cos i dun want to disturb him having fun. I don dare to prompt him further or ask qns, cos i scared he will feel naggy and feel that im just paranoid. I just fear that he will leave me. Bu yao li kai wo hao ma?

pics of sheena bdae celebration

Me and kc

My sharkie freeze

Sheena gg to stand up on the chair

Sheena and Leo

Me and kc again at the toiley

Ah ma and olivia

The bdae wrap

Kc and ruo ping

Manager lighting the candles with sheena up on the chair

Me and kc at fish & co.

Finally i can upload those pics. My blogger got some prob after i change the setting for the explorer 7. Must to explore more of the settings, just updated it. lolx. now taking a short break from study.. lolx.. morning bro show me magic but hahax, i alrdy guess dao how he do b4 he even do it. lolx. i not stupid de hor. lolx. Just msg lynn to ask abt my skinnies.., She say she will msg me the time, but still haven sia. Wonder when can take my skinnies. Lolx. Today drown myself in two cups of coffee alrdy.. Think will be more.. lolx.. long time nvr drink coffee.. lolx.

12th december

Ytd was sheena bdae. Went to meet rp,kc, olivia,kumweng,joseph at cp. Saw leland at cp. while in the mrt, cam whoring again, lolx. Being questioned. hahax. lolx. really hope that dar dar can meet them some day.. lolx.. Then head to dhoby gaut mrt station met up with ah ma. Then bump into elizabeth. lolx.

Then we went to park mall fish & co. The atmosphere is just so great, there are live band performing. The ambience just feel so right. lolx. Then we looked at menu, chatting, taking photos, Then carmella came. lolx. Talked abt some stuff that once make me very piss off. That person really bu yao lian one. Eww.. After i saw smth again just now i really think that person is really sick. Then finally sheena,leo and sheena sis came. lolx. then we looked at the menu. hahax. I ordered coriander catch. First time I did not have the eww expression towards coriander. Lolx. The dory fish is really fresh just tast so good with the coriander and butter.Then i ordered the sharkie freeze. When the order came i was shocked, so big cup. Dots. Then when i start drinking, sheena and leo shocked, they also ordered the same thing, but i was drinking faster than them. lolx.. Then after we ate finish, there was a bdae wrap. Lolx. The cake came, then sheena was asked to stand on the chair and was asked to wear the joker hat by the manager. but sheena nvr wear. lolx. then the staff at fish and co shout dunno wad cheer.. hahax. lolx. Then after that we went west mall de toiley. Then we walked to town take pictures,then went swensen eat ice cream. Lolx. then me and kc catch the last train to dhoby gaut, then take mrt home. lolx.

end this torture fast pls

Stress ar!! I skip inverse trigo, cos i know hw to apply the formula alrdy. The most problematic chapter is the freaking extrema and critical point.. Argh!! And my derivative of expo and log is like freaking messed up. Though log i'm on my way to fully understanding. i know my first order derivative, just that when 2nd derivative is added in, i got mixed up alrdy. damn it. I know hw to find critical values, yes i know. I know how to draw for the first derivative graph. Critical points for max and min pts, slowly.. still the 2nd derivative test i DUNNO!! argh.. I dunno wad i am typing. My brain is gg to explode. Regret sleeping in class and not paying attention.

im proud to introduce dar to precious

Now its 5.31am. I'm still mugging. restarting all the maths question. Now only at implicit.. Sian. Still got a long long way to go. Long time nvr really stay up to study. It reminded me of my o lvl days. Hahax. My eye lids are heavy but thinking of the piles of notes waiting for me, i just cant help continuing. Mugging is tough. lolx. When i woke up, watched the golden horse award, heard from dunno who that his son only 3 yrs old, had a dream in mind alrdy, he told his daddy that he has a dream. I was like wow, he only 3 years old, and he knows wad he want, and he is wrking towards that goal. Then i ponder, wad are my dreams and goals, for sports i know wad i want, but for studies, i don even know whether i can graduate successfully, now its only a step at a time, gonna put in 100% effort. I once had dreams b4, but slowly as i grew up i forget abt them. Some i even strike it off, cos i no longer eligible. But one thing for sure, I don't want to regret wad i did in my o lvl. No more pls. A setback is a thing i would want to get hold of it and make it better by using other opportunities given to me. lolx. Sheena bdae coming in a couple of days. lolx. looking forward to the outing, long time nvr go out and take a lot of pics like in the past.. and one day im gonna introduce dar dar to precious.. i'm proud to introduce dar dar.. hehex. lolx.

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