own thoughts

Kinda having twirls in my mind, but yet Im not sure what Im thinking. Mixed feelings is what i felt now. My mind holds nothing but blankness. hmm.. Maybe it just a shock to me.. Let me go over it, give me time.. Cos im lost.

Darn, my maths left one try, those 2 tries i failed, one even by one mark. Why cant let me pass, but im sure i did it right.. Whatever.

Morning bump into juan hui and her friend, nice meeting them, found another bb mate. =).. Must meet out someday again.. My friend..

I want to be 18 fast, so that i can take up driving lessons, promise my bro when i turn 21 and i have a car i will drive him to school. That will be a promise.. But 18 let me have one fear, i scared i have the urge to smoke again. Cos 18 i will have a free will to buy cigarette, since its was suppose to be a legal age. Tell me how, what am I gg to do? Can someone hold me back?

3.35am.. Watching the clock hand ticks, staring at the space with no thoughts in my head. Why am i still up? No answer, cause I dont know what i am doing except blogging.. Been thinking abt whether im soft hearted.. I told my son that I dont care about it, but deep down inside my heart, i still care abt the friendship. But now just let it be. Dont wish to brood much over it, cos my studies are more impt..

Have not been talking to my sis, for couple of days alrdy. Its peaceful, though some criticism here and there. I learnt to speak nicely. Anger management.. No thoughts of slashing myself or what so ever.

Don't look on the surface, Jia Hwei has her own emo times, though she always put a smile on her face, joking ard, but beneath the smiles, she is suffering.. She just putting on a bravefront..She likes to hide her feelings cause its in her character, she does not like ppl to know how she feels, cos she wants everything good for her and her friends. When you saw her on the streets alone, you may see a different personaluty, a person who is cool and anti social, non approachable. But she holds one promise, she will try not to show a sad face to her friends and loved ones..

Been thinking of the past when i was in pri school.. Teacher complained about me always bottoming myself, even my parents said so. I was never active in class participation. Im just a very quiet kid, who hardly speaks.. A very timid but sporting gurl. From that moment i know i have to change.. =).. My thinking had been maturing along the way of overcoming obstacles.. I'm not afraid of teachers anymore..=) Gt to end here, and turn in. lolx.. nightx..