Random

9.ooam sharp, but here i am blogging. Some ppl know me definitely can tell that I haven turn in yet. Cause jia hwei would never wake up so early. Even it is, it's been almost a year since I done that. Though I should be having my rest as I'm still feeling drowsy but I can't.. Just have no idea. Drastic year for me I reckon. One that occupies bad memories I supposed? But what abt those good ones? As this saying goes, happiness is not for u to hold it, it's fr u to create it first. But how? The pursuing of happiness seems so complex to me. And my mind in a twirl till sometimes I dont even know what am i thinking abt. What can I do? Praying for a miracle till the time comes along.

I'm just left in a fix, a dead lock situation. It's been rocky, it's been a mess. But what am i going to do? Is it gg to end up like in the past? I just can't help thinking. No one will ever know what am i going through. Cause I've known better myself.

Tmr camp eagles, my last camp, well, i should enjoy myself in this camp like there's no tomorrow since it's going to be the last. Speaking of camp, I have not pack my bag yet. Nor either preparation for the camp.

Guess he's sleeping now? Or is he still playing game? Has he switched on his hp?A lot of questions waiting to be answered. I shall msg him till I really collaspe.

After camp, going for a job interview, maybe it's a good time for me to find something to occupy myself again.

Got scolded again just because of a bag. Am I going to be like a wimp? Been a wimp since young till I know I must get stronger to defend myself, they were never a parents to me. I'm just a punching bag to them. They always never admit that they are wrong, why care so much abt face when they are utterly shameless. Got caned for these 17 years, alrdy immune to it, no longer feel the pain and hurt I once suffered. These 17 years, been despised by them and being called useless and many names, I have learnt a lot, matured in the growing process, cos i know I have been fighting for myself, defending myself, I have to be strong.. One day when I grow up, I become successful in my career, I would want them to know that I am the person that they once knew, they mould me into the person i am nw, i want them to reflect how they treated me these years. And when i have my own kid next time, I would nvr treat them the way my parents treat me..