I am very mixed up

Chatted and smsed with irdwan, 'him', daryl, karen, joey. Thats how i spent my day. I receive a letter from the singapore navy. Maybe I will go sign up. Then I wont need to pay for my fees. Lol. Many questions poped up my mind. But I don't know how to answer them, cause I don't know myself. Very mixed up with my feelings. What can I do? He break his leg. Hospitalised for a few days Why he so careless? All because of the stupid staircase fault. Thinking of a broken leg, wonder you know who had gone through the operation yet. I am very bored. Keep downloading games to play, but with no mouse, play till my finger pain. Some more yesterday i punch myself into the sharp edge of the wardrobe, it punched a hole through my fist. Blood oozed. But now recovering. But my toe still haven. Damn it. Although results are released, now i have to worry about the admissin to poly. Back to insomia again. Why am i thinking so much. Why? I wished i can wash my hands off it. But i cant. I am too bothersome. Yesterday finished two storybooks in a few hours. Later going to read the next book to spend my time till morning then i go sleep. Is this counted as torturing myself? Hope not..... Sigh